Complete

AnaWhat I know and how I feel don’t always line up.  It’s tension I’m quite comfortable with at times, but there are other times when it’s not so great.

I’m fine with knowing Brussels sprouts are good for me but feeling a particular loathing towards them.  I’m good with knowing the grammar in a worship song is atrocious but singing it anyway . . . well, sometimes.  For most of my life I’ve been OK with knowing sleep is important but shortchanging that sleep when I feel like doing something else.

I struggle with knowing how God sees me and how I see myself.  I wish I could accept his view of me as easily as I accept an erroneous one.  It’s not a daily angst because I don’t allow myself to dwell on it too much, but it’s there.

I see myself as lacking in so many areas.  I feel like Paul when he writes in Romans 7 that he does the things he shouldn’t even while wanting to do the things he should.  Somehow it’s not comforting to be in such good company.  I want to be organized.  I want to be efficient.  I want to be fit and healthy.  I want to be more involved in my church.  I want to try new things. I want to be a prayer warrior.   I want to ____ –well, you fill in the blank.   If you know me, you have a plethora of choices.  If you don’t, I’m sure you can make an educated guess.

When I look at the list (both written and unwritten) it confirms my idea that I’m more than a bit of a failure in so many areas.  Totally lacking and incomplete, I am.

Thankfully God doesn’t look at me this way.  He sees me as he sees Christ.  (I John 3:2).  I can’t fully understand it, but I cling to it.  I know God sees me finished.  He sees me now through the blood of Christ–forgiven and restored.  He also sees me complete.  He sees how I have persevered to maturity–complete and lacking nothing! (James 1:4)  It’s mind boggling.

I’m working at internalizing and owning this.  I regularly pray for God to allow me to see other people the way he sees them.  I need to ask him for a clearer picture of how he sees me.

How does God see you?  Do you believe him?

photo from Ifnena on Flickr Creative Commons

 

Jammin’ over at Faith Barista today.  Check it out.

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9 Responses to “Complete”

  1. TirzahOctober 20, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    When I think of you I NEVER think of you as incomplete or lacking. Not everyone is made to go to sleep with the clock, or pick up every item they place somewhere in any given day. Not everyone is supposed to be fit and thin. Not everyone is supposed to be efficient.

    What you are supposed to be is the best of your strong points and at that you excel!!! You are a great communicator, a wonderful listener, and honest soul, and an amazing friend. You pour into people like not many can or will, and you have a great knack for bargain shopping. If you had to trade those for the other things that you feel are lacking, you wouldn’t be Sheryl, and that would be sad. (and you can probably point out every mistake in this note that I am too tired to fix!)

    I am getting out of a funk. Today was a great start – I cleaned the house from top to bottom and then some. I felt productive for the first time in a long time – truly productive. I don’t doubt how God sees me or that he is right, but I fail constantly at being the best me I can be. I let petty things get in the way. It’s a good thing tomorrow is always fresh.

  2. Alyssa SantosOctober 20, 2011 at 8:57 pm #

    You know, your honest reflection is an apparent sign that you are internalizing and owning this great truth that God sees you fully restored and forgiven. And it is important that we tell ourselves this truth, tighten the tension so to speak, so that when faced with trials (and they come and keep coming) we’ll be fortified from the inside out with his truth. I’m glad I stopped by from Faith Barista – I enjoyed your photo and thought over your words.

  3. Nikole HahnOctober 21, 2011 at 6:16 am #

    Very dangerous prayer to pray. I did that prayer, too, and He ripped open my life to my painful betterment.

  4. RuthOctober 21, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    I know that God sees me as a finished, complete work. I can accept that as a wonderful part of His gift to me. I am convinced more and more that we need to “stop stewing and get doing.”
    Our loving God wants us to know that we are here to serve others. Paul told the Philipians that for himself he would choose to go to heaven to be with God, but he chose to stay on earth so he was able to encourage the church at Philipi. He knew God wanted him to encourage them to be united and serve each other.
    I will be more like God as I give myself to serving Him. There is no greater joy than to live one moment at a time looking for ways to serve other Christians and so serve God.

  5. Jeri TairaOctober 21, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    It’s so awesome how you have accepted His gift of how He sees you. He sees you complete 🙂

  6. CharissaOctober 22, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    I can totally relate…everyday I have to ask God how he sees me!!

  7. SherylOctober 24, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Thanks for all the comments, Ladies! I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with other things and haven’t been keeping up with comments. Sorry about that.

    Tirzah–THANK YOU!!!!! You made my eyes leak. And I mean that in the best possible way. You know me well and I treasure your words of encouragement.

    Alyssa–Yes! Speaking the truth to others seems fairly natural for me–at least much of the time–but it’s so much harder to speak it to myself. It does increase tension, but it’s a very worthy tension.

    Nikole–It is a dangerous prayer . . . and I think knowing the danger of it keeps me from praying it when I probably need to.

    Mom–Well said!

    Jeri–Thanks for the confirmation. 🙂

    Charissa–Thanks for showing me I’m in good company!

  8. CherylNovember 2, 2011 at 7:36 am #

    At the alongsider retreat in Estonia last week, our director shared a thought from Athanasius’ On the Incarnation that really grabbed me. He said we need to embrace our limits, as Jesus embraced the limits of His incarnation and they thus became the means of our salvation.
    I have been thinking a lot about this. And it came to mind when I read this post.
    ‘ugs.
    Soul

  9. SherylNovember 3, 2011 at 7:39 am #

    Hmmmmm—I’ll have to chew on that for a while, Soul. It’s good stuff. Thanks for giving it to me. Ugs!

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